Poof..! January 24, 2008

Whenever we meet someone either by casual or officially, not everyone that we were being introduced will be come our friends. Some will remains as clients/colleagues or acquintances. When you find someone who you can talk to, comfortable with them are some that we might wish to keep in touch with.

 However, I have this ex-colleague who go MIA – Missing in action everytime she changes job and will only contact us when she has settled down in her new job. But when she leave her job again,  there she goes again.

The last time that she did that was about 1 year ago.. and we have not heard from her since. (which is quite normal for her!) But this time round her mobile number is no longer in use! When I finally got her home number and manage to call her mum today, only to find out that she has left the country! Sigh.. Now hopefully that when she does comes back for visit, she will contact us!

So unexpected… December 22, 2007

Life is such a fragile thing that exist in this world. It changes by the second either to positive or negative. Some people thinks that life is a gamble, some seems to think that life is their playground.. living for the fun of it.. Many people has a different defination of life..

It’s quite an irony when I think about my surrounding friends and colleagues this couple of weeks. Before I went up to Malaysia last weekend, I found out that one of my colleague who is married for 08 years is getting a divorce and I am going all the way up north to witness the union of 02 in-love individuals who are going to merge their life into one. What is a marriage then? Is it just a ceremony where people get together, give their best wishes and have a party? Or is it a promise given by both parties to cherish, love and be faithful to each other?

According to wikipedia, ” Marriage or wedlock is an interpersonal relationship (usually intimate and sexual) with governmental, social, or religious recognition. It is either created as a contract, or through civil processes. Civil marriage is the legal concept of marriage as a governmental institution.” From this phase, it sounded so formal and so impersonal.

To me, I think marriage is where 02 people comes together when they love each other, respect each other (and probably able to tolerate each other? but that sounds like a miserable life ahead). To come to live together, coming from different upbringing, habits, it goes without saying compromises – give and take - comes into play most of the time and yes probably a slight degree of tolerence are required. But just based on compromises and tolerence to sustain the marriage, I don’t think it will last long.

Why people get married? For companionship? hmm.. but you can get companionship from friends, colleagues or family members.. To continue their family line?..possibility.. Many people wish to have the ideal reason why to get married is for 02 persons deeply in love with each other and would like to be together every moment of their life.. wah.. like in a fairy tale movie where people stay happily ever after.. But recent studies.. it doesn’t be the case anymore. Not many marriages last now, of course! we do have some, who are lucky enough or maybe.. lucky is not the correct word.. fortunate enough to find their MR/MS Right and really be able to stay happily ever after… That’s everyone’s dream.. But does it materialize.. that’s another matter.

Even though the couple may start the correct path, maybe after a few years, feelings dries off, resentment kicks in with the commitment of a house / children to boot, they get tired of each other, that’s where the problem starts. Is either they break away from each other in mutual understanding or either one goes astray (having affairs)..

Being together is not an easy task, it takes great effort from both parties to remain happy with each other company, to re-live their “dating relationship” once a while, spice up their marriage and to refresh their love for each other to make it more exciting so that both parties won’t be bored with each other. Once boredom kicks in, problem starts.

Of course all these are just in my opinions since these topics are very subjective with each of us with different opinions. But what I think before a couple decides to get married, do ask themselves why are they getting married? Is it because they really cannot live without each other or getting married for other reasons likehouses (which is a very common reason why Singaporeans to get married)? That’s for us to think about.. hmm…

An Unusual Experience.. December 2, 2007

After a hectic day yesterday, I thought today able to relax a little and pursuaded my aunt to watch a movie with me.. A movie I have wanted to watch …a fairytale movie called “Enchanted”. Then I realized all the years I have been staying with her.. all these years (even before I went to Australia) I have never watch a movie with her in cinema…

 It really shows how much we take our parents and relatives who are closest to us, who cares for us on daily basis for granted. We always thinks that they are always there for us and they are but we never ever treasure them in the way, we should be. Yes I admit at times they are quite annoying with their way of thinking and way of doing things that are so different from us or even some of their remarks on our behaviours or our habits which we find it not so pleasing to our ears..  

Knowing that they are doing these for the goodness for us, but sometimes it just rub us at the wrong way. But when I think harder, they will not be with us forever, they will be gone from us one day in future. which I hope not so soon..When that day comes, I know I will miss them very much.  I just have to take their advise to heart, remarks – some to heart some I just let it go.. understanding them too well..My aunt who is like my 2nd mum.. who look after me since I am young, eventhough she sounded and look fierce at times,  but she is good at heart.

I hope and will try my best not to take them for granted .. call my parents or go home more often and taking care of my aunt who stays with me more.. If I don’t do it now, I might not be able to do so for them in the next 20 or even 5 years! Life is so fragile these days.. It might not be them, but who know I will go before them.. We are never be able to predict our destiny isn’t it?

Marriage… September 23, 2007

Marriage is an institution where most people is either waiting for or feared for or shun away from. Different people has different perspective or views on this. Many people always says ladies are always looking for marriage.

Hmm.. how true is that? In ancient days yes its probably true during our parents generations. But as time goes by, in the current generations, the needs changes. Marriage is not the main goal for ladies in the society now. Careers are now becoming the main focus for most ladies now. Nowadays, ladies does not need to depend on guys to survive.. right gals?

On the other hand, not saying that all ladies does not wish to get married. Of course when we meet our Mr Right, we will wish to settle down then. It goes the same for me…

However, today my aunt told me that they are trying to marry me off.. All the alarm bells started ringing.. I went what?! Just imagine, my parents wants to introduce some of their friends sons who is in Singapore to me.. ayoh.. I wanted to let them know hei.. I am not desperate ok.. I was taken aback as this is the first time I hear that my own parents wants to marry me off.. geez…

I am surviving just fine over here.. going out with friends and colleagues, going holiday with friends… basically on these aspect of life I have no complaints.

Of course, should the day comes when or if I do find my Mr Right will be good as well.. Someone that I can depends on occasionally, someone to share things with, or just with someone.. but then.. that will only happen if I ever find him..

However, now I am just concentrating on my career, meet more people make new friends.. going for holidays.. explore new places and experiencing new stuffs..

Friends.. September 12, 2007

Good friends are hard to come by. Friends play an important part in our life. Sometimes you need your friends around you to share your worries, to share you joy and your sorrows. We just need 1 good friend and if you are lucky you will have a couple more.

I was lucky that I have one good friend. I have known her since my kindergarden and we were in the same class from Kindergarden till Secondary 1. Due to my poor results, we were in a different class and drifted apart. But we still keep in contact occationally till we both end up in this small little island advancing our career.

Some people can make friends very easily. People make friends from all types of methods. Some made friends thru internet, clubs, pubs, schools, companies, clients or through events. Now, with the modern internet, some people can even meet strangers, having fling with them or even finding their lifetime partner through the net. But how effective they are? How well can we trust these resources?

Ideal partner.. August 9, 2007

These have always been the most frequent questions being asked. Someone asked me these similar questions today. What is my ideal partner? What do I look for in searching for my Mr Right? What are the things that women look for being an ideal partner..

Men is always saying that understanding women is their greatest challenge. But hei.. you, men is not easy to understand as well…

What do you think makes an ideal partner.. Is there one in the first place? All of us are not born perfect.. All of us has our strength and weaknesses.. No one in this world is perfect.. even the US president is not as well! Ideal partner is much differs to each individual on what we are looking for in the partner .. on what we think is important for us in a relationship.

There used to be an era where people says that woman looks for guys with the 5c’s (Cash, Career, Car, Condo and err..hmm.. what is the last C.. credit cards?.. can’t remember the last one..) I am not sure if woman really looking for all these factor..

However, someone today ask me if there are 2 types of guys: one – active, interesting and full of ideas and another leads a more routine life by just go to work and go home.. which one will I choose.. hmm…. a very hard question indeed..

Each woman might be looking at a different things in their own ideal partner. Some might be say faithfulness.. some might be looking for dependability.. Some might look for intelligence and sense of humor.. even some might just looking on the exterior and the wealth of the guy .. but I guess… some might even look for all these aspects.. however really does such man really exist? Each woman will have to decide whether which factor is the most important to her…

But does it really matter?

What I think is that for 2 persons to be together and to form a relationship must have at least a degree of fondness and respect for each other. In any relationship, there will always has their ups and down. To make the relationship work, will much depends on how both parties work together by understanding and compromising and not to try to control or change the other person to fit into their own ideal partner slot. But then again, it is only my point of view, there is always someone with a different perspective… anyone care to share their view?